End of year....Start of year

Well, after a long break, I am finally ready to make my first post of the year. Of course, to whoever is reading this, Happy New Year. From the part of the world where I come from, it seemed 2007 is a good year, with good increment and good bonus. Before I dwell on what I expect for the year to come, I think is important to count my blessings in 2006. Indeed, after the 18 days stint in Hanoi and Luang Prabang, I have learnt to count my blessings by the day which made me a happier person.

2006, I think I started the year on a high note. My ex-boss kept his promise that I achieved a high distinction where my career was concerned. He made me a project leader, put me in charge of a major project and gave me his unconditional support. It was sad that things did not turn out to be what we expected. He left without seeing his brainchild being born, while I continued the struggles under the new management. 2006 was a crazy year where work was concerned. I could be in 3 different places in one week. Singapore - Shanghai - Sydney. Sometimes, when I woke up, I could not remember where I was. Though it was a challenge physically and mentally, I took it in good stride. Like what my ex-boss said, this project brought out the best in me. I endured, struggled, confronted, worked my guts out. The end product was a more versatile me, who was ready to rise to occasion. Though our paths had now deviated, he would be somebody I always had great respect for. Someone who could really tame a wild horse like me, the first person whom I had no complaints for slogging my guts out. Thankful would be the word i used to describe knowing him. Someday (i hope in the not too distant future), I hope our paths would cross again.......

2006, another challenge was i finished my grad dip in Psych. To me, that was an achievement. It meant a stop to all those writing/reading of essays, references and finally some time for me to rest. No doubt i learnt a lot thru the course, but i had qualms about continuing. I knew i would not practise, not that i was not up to it, just that it was not my calling, maybe just not yet. Thru Psych, i knew more abt myself, but i was not ready to help pp thru it. It was meant for myself that i took up the course, to understand the often confused and complicated inner self. And becos of a rash decision i made years ago while studying, i was faced with the decision of leaving my beloved family and country for a dream in a foreign land. Though i have decided to leave, i will BE BACK. I just realise time was too short, and i had not done a lot of things in my own land. I told myself, i would be there just to experience life, once i m tired, i would set my path back, back to the place where i was born, where my family and friends were, back to the place where i called HOME.........

2006 was another travelling year. Besides the numerous business trips, i went to Redang, HongKong, Taiwan, Vietnam and Laos. I think i had almost covered majority of Asia. Budget was one of my concerns......I did not want to spend too much on travelling. So i opted for all the cheap places. And Vietnam and Laos met my expectations, 18 days, 1.5k. Actually, right now I really miss Hanoi a lot. I am not sure why. Perhaps its pp, its scenary, its food and its traffic are very distinctive. Perhaps, it was really a trip that i called REST. I have time to think over things, to realise how lucky i have been and i finally understood what it means by being contented. In the past, i was always unhappy because i have had a lot of desires. Perhaps, the guide i met in Hanoi, his name was Nam, taught me how to cherish the things and pp around me. My cousin mentioned i was different when i came back. I was less frustrated....whenever i was upset with work, i would think of the pp in Hanoi, how they managed to stay happy despite the poor conditions. Compared to them, i was really insignificant and that was the essence of happiness.

2006, just as i thought my love life would be another blank, somebody crept in quietly into my life. I had to admit, at this moment, i am still thinking about him even though i knew we have no future. It was a very amazing experience that i had trouble believing that happened to me. We met in Hanoi while i was planning for the Hanoi trip. He was trying to sell me some tours while i was bargaining. It turned out we chatted everyday and he had illusions about me. I was tempted but i stopped myself before i went for the trip. However, when i got back, i realised i did have some feelings for him. Maybe that is the power of time. We spent very little time together and up to this point, I am still not sure if i was a friend or a customer. I guessed that was not important anymore. What was important was he existed and he gave me wonderful memories. I do not think we could work it out at all, but i was still reluctant to give up at this point, perhaps because I was falling into temptation. I told myself, he was just treating me like a customer, trying to earn a few more dollars from me. After the trip, I should think that would be the end of our relationship. I was never lucky in love, sometimes i wonder why......I guess for me, it would be beter for me not to have met that person, than to meet and suffered disappointment. For me, that was what i was going through now. Till now, we had not kept in touch. I was not sure if we still would......i guess if we did, i would be licking my disappointment quietly.

Anyway, all those happened in 2006, so it was a past. It was just plain unfortunate i would start the year thinking of an impossible. Perhaps, in a few more months, i would have recovered and moved on in my life.......the world waited for no one. In 2007, effectively i had only 10 months left with my family and friends. They would be my priority. After that, i would have to face up to the consequences due to the decision i made. Whatever that came out of it, i am sure i would become a better person. Take every obstacle as an opportunity to build my character building.

Yes, i would be looking forward to 2007, to see what it has in store for me......whatever it is, count my blessings and things would be a lot more bearable.......