Friends

Honestly, I never like to think about Friends, not especially in writing. To me, I am a person with very few friends, as long as I am comfortable with you, that is good enough. But do not try to step into my inner world, the world of my thoughts. However, there are always exceptions and the few that slipped through are what I called them my gem, but sometimes these gem would cause me disappointments too. Alas, this is not another blog to pen down my disappointment in Friends....think I have written too much on that issue before. The problem could be well myself. However, I would like to write about a few people who have or have the potential to become my Friends and the kind of relationship we shared put me at ease.

I think I have became friends with Sunflower. Yes, it is Sunflower again. She is worth special mention here because I think I owed her a debt. If there is any slightest chance of me becoming a great psychologist in the future, she will be the first person I would want to thank and she will always hold a special place in my heart where Psychology is concerned. Indeed, if not for that stimulating class that she has taught, I think I would have given up Psy long ago. She brought the then disillusioned me back to reality, believing in me that I could succeed if I wanted to, and imparting her knowledge to me. Yes, I think I did not let her down. I scored a Distinction for what most labelled as the toughest paper. Is not only the paper academic I am grateful to her, I am more grateful to her for sharing her aspirations, her thoughts and her stir of my emotions where Psy is concerned. She truly made me ponder if I should /am talented in this area. She brought back the motivation in me for doing my best and yes, I really appreciate those thought provoking sessions where my head was in a turmoil after talking to her. She truly inspired me. To me, I think she will be someone who I always looked up to (just like what I always trying to find in friends, something for me to look up to).

The second lady I have to admit, I used to judge her. I used to find her a "bimbo", complaining over the slightest thing. But fate has decreed us that we should become closer after we both left the place where we once work. She is what I defined in between a simple and a not so simple person. Is an awkward position to be in, somewhere in between. Well for one, she is quite intelligent and for one given her intelligence, she is not at all scheming but yearning for a simplistic life. I remembered I told her about the mild depression I suffered during one of the msn session. What she said hit the nail. The minute you were unhappy, you have wasted one minute of your life. How true that statement is. I have always reminded myself to be happy, but it takes somebody in middle ground, to give me that tight slap to see the light in tunnel. I have to admit, she has matured over the years and our friendship sort of build up over the msn sessions. She is not a so simple person who has able to live a simple life. Maybe through al the sharing sessions, I have come to appreciate her beauty. Is kind of funny when at one moment, you feel / think that this person can never be your friend and at the next moment, this person could well be the one offering some sort of solace. For that, I really appreciate her kind intention.

The third lady is an old time friend. Actually, I am not sure if she comes close to my category as a friend. We braved through thick and thin during our school days, however she is the kind of person whom I never will have expectations. She has drawn the line very clearly that her family is her priority and friends always come second. And yes, is the same case for me. However, I guess there is some aspect of her character that is not so well-formed that will put me off at times. Nevertheless, we kept in touch all these years. It is how funny things go. Right at this moment, we are all fighting hard to fulfill our dreams and so we could empathise with each other, and spurring each other on, not to give up till the end. Is a kind of special bond. From time to time, when she is disillusioned, she will come to me for advice and we exchange pointers in the process of achieving our dreams. Though like I mentioned earlier, she had some aspects of characteristics that put me off, she also had some characteristics that made me admire her. For one, she is also a fighter, hanging on always for her dreams. I like people with dreams and I admire people who set all out to achieve them. Perhaps, we are the similar kind of people who will go all out to do what we set to. Her self-discipline and motivation earned my admiration.

It is kind of interesting to ponder why these 3 persons are doing in my life at the same time, the time when I am disappointed with my own collection of gem. Perhaps, it is trying to tell me something. That I am not alone, that I always have people to count on. Throughout my whole mild depression episode, one of my favourite gem was missing and even though I did spell briefly what was happening in my life, no further action was taken from her. Perhaps, I think she was too caught up in her own life that she forgot to spare a thought for those who knocked on her door briefly. Indeed, it did really upset me to feel ignored and even more disappointed that when I needed help or call for help, her hand was not lifted out to me. Anyway, perhaps I feel I should move on to other gem in life. Indeed, there were many who really cared for me and helped me through my ordeal. And the most ironical thing was these people did not even come close to my category of friends.

That is it about life. The thing you cherished most need not necessarily be the best, isn't it? Actually, I feel I learnt something from this mild depression. The person you cared about the most may not reciprocate in similar manner. Sometimes, it takes a stranger to show that they care.

Friends to me now has a new meaning. It doesnt mean you have to know the other party very well to be considered a friend. In the past, I was too stringent in my category of friends. It is always better to have more friends, more people to rely on for support when the need arises. And never never forsake or ignore those who called on you. You never know what impact your actions have on them.