Goodbye 2005

Hmm, finally we are at the last day of the year. Well, i wanted to write one whole chunk of the past year happenings in my first website last nite, but alas, i was drunk...yes, drunk. It was the sec time in my life that i got drunk. To confess, i m not a gd drinker and i dun enjoy drinking, reason being for the first time in my life tat i got drunk, i did smthg that blew out of proportion, hence i promised myself i would nvr ever get drunk again. However, this time was diff, it was a biz gathering, hence i cld not say "No". Sometimes, you just cant helped it....but not too bad for me, my drinking capapacity has improved and i still managed to take the MRT home by myself...though my head was spinning badly....

Ok, after a gd swim in the morning, i felt much refreshed.....had a gd breakfast wif mum at the market (which i haven visited for years), and now sitting down, listening to Rene Liu's newest album, i shall begin my day of revisiting the Year 2005........

Year 2005 to me, was a good year. It was 3 months into a new job, a new step that i have taken to step out of the comfort zone and accomplishing things that i longed wanted to in my so called career. Though there was some unknown into the new envr, i tink i love everything in the new job, the pple, the job scope and the envr. Yes, it was much better spending 8 hours a day yahooing and gossiping. I guess i just wanted to become a better person as the years go by and i find that lacking in my old envr, where there was too much time, and wat i could do was oni to gossip. Where work was concerned, i tink i score a High Distinction in 2005. Not that my perf was fantastic, but wat i really felt, i was finally learning, and this job was wat i longed, to LEARN. No more gossips, no more boring projects, and finally someone who really appreciated my efforts and acknowledging it and Yes, finally my boss was smarter than me (not tat i m smart, but all bosses seemed to be blur abt their jobs) and i tink he was truly a motivation and inspiration to me. Once again, i was motivated to tink abt ways of solving problems after work, and once again, i wld commit myself to be doing research abt work, it was a force/energy that i had been searching since my sch days and i cld feel, i m getting it back.

Of course, Year 2005 was not all about work. Where study was concerned, it was a busy year, for i was taking the main bulk of the units in this year....it was tough to do 2 modules per semester part time. But yes, i survived. However, it also dawned on me that maybe after all, i was not so talented in Psych. Perhaps due to time constraint, Psych became gg thru a motion, i just wanted to finish it quickly. I had lost my focus along the way, forgot the initial reason y i took up the course. I forgot that my motive was to learn, to learn abt the science of humans and understand pple better. As i was losing hope, i tink God had sent his angels to me. I met two such angels in my psych course, both of them were lecturers. If you had done part time before, chances were u would get crappy lecturers.....and i was so used to it, that i nvr held high hopes anymore. The first lady had a certain kind of air in her, for my standards, she was rather pretty. She was definitely knowledgable and maybe becos of her intelligence, she was rather sarcastic. However, she was one of the few lecturers who really knew her stuff, but she was not really approachable in the sense she kept a distance fr her students. I wld say it was a smart ways to ward off students who were overly dependent on her. If i had to find a symbol for her, i wld compare her to birds of paradise, elegant, but so distant. The sec lady i tink wld have a bigger impact on me. For one, she was a veri next door lecturer who wld admit, she din noe all the stuff, who wld throw the questions back to the students and who wld learn fr the students. For that, she really earned my admiration and she was the kind that was approachable, and who wld talk abt other stuff beside psych. If i were to rate her, i tink she looked like a sunflower, full of energy and friendly and approachable. These two persons were my inspiration bcos i hope one day i wld become as knowledgable as they are and able to instill inspiration to others. For now, i still cant foresee my future in psych. I m no longer that sure if i really wanted to continue, not that i have lost my interest, but maybe becos i m not sure wat i really wanted to pursue....i told my very best fren, rite now i m leading a fulfiling life becos i was pursuing two things in my life that i have interest in......it was tough that i had to give up one for the other, however i m also sure they cant co exist....someday, i wld have to make a choice.....

The other thing i wld want to talk abt is relationships. Guess i finally got myself out of the ordeal after 3 years of trying....honestly, if u were to ask me now to describe our relationship, i cant give a concrete ans....for one, i was nvr sure if he was ever in love wif me bf...he nvr explicitly told me, but his actions were otherwise. Hence it was always in a state of confusion. I hate to admit, but it was also partly bcos of him tat i left....i cant bear to face him everyday. By leaving i noe time wld heal all wounds and i was right. No longer do i feel so intense for him anymore, he became a fren whom i cld do wifout. Even so, i still wished him all the best as always....becos he was somebody impt......so it was impt that he was happy. I may not be the one, but i really hope he wld find the one and make him a more complete and better person. It was painful to see a talented person wallow in despair, hopefully someday he wld wake up fr his idea, and put his strengths into great use....i promise, wherever i m in any corner of the world, i will be happy for him......

Year 2005 i also did a fair bit of travel...Been to oz, redang and hua hin. It was always great to travel, for every trip i wld get smthg back.....and recharge myself.......Out of the 3, my vote goes to Redang, was really a beautiful place and i had deepened my love for the sea.....beneath the calm surfaces, there was so much movements...and it was a beautiful sight to be swimming wif the marine creatures...though most of the time, i dunno wat they were.....hopefully the next year i get back, it wld still be as beautiful as ever...

Having a good year in 2005, i have higher expectations for 2006. Somehow, i cld feel my body energizing up for next year which is coming in less than 24 hours. For one, i know my career will climb a new heights. I m not an ambitious person, i just wanted the experience of working overseas and how well i can deal wif foreigners who doesnt like Chinese. It is the thirst of experience that is driving me on. Second, i wld have finish my course by mid of next year, by then, i hope i will have a clearer conclusion of wat i wanted to do. Thirdly, hopefully i will be able to find somebody special in the year to go. Well, honestly i leave it to fate.....as long as i m happy, even if i have to walk the journey on my own, i will have the courage to do it. Fourthly, i hope my family and frens will be healthy and happy. Nothing beats the two. Lastly, i hope i will become a better, more knowledgable person......becoming an inspiration to others...

Goodbye 2005, Welcome 2006 !