Happy New Year 2006

Yes, finally we are here, in the year of 2006, the year where I will get to rise and shine, climbing to greater heights. I dunno why, but somehow, i feel this is "THE YEAR" for me to accomplish wat i wanted to. I dun tink i m ambitious, just tat hunger for experience, not looking for high increment in job, just high increment in overseas stint, hopefully.

OK, just to blog down wat i have done today and wat thoughts went thru me today to start my New Year so tat i cld rem a year later how i started tis fabulous year.

For a start, it was kind of boring....i had a late nite last nite, coming home at 3am, having 3 rounds of food at diff places wif the same grp of pple and wif the hang over fr the nite before, i pop straight to the bed after showering.....luckily, i still managed to keep my record of waking up 6 hours later becos i was far behind time in my study assignment, having to write a Personality essay.

Actually, somehow for a long time, i was enjoying writing the two essays recently. Perhaps becos i did well for one of the essays last semseter and tat sort of gave me a boost, or it cld be related to the Sunflower who had been so encouraging and inspiring that gave me smthg to look fwd to. The tots went thru me today. I tink i will miss the times locating references, learning thru the process and writing and awaiting the fruit of my labour when i grad in another few mths time. I tink these two years after i taken up psych, it had been esp fulfiling for me. I find my knowledge gaining tremendously and i began to look at things in a diff light. I tink i am gg to miss these fulfilling times tat rite now i m actually enjoying it. It is an irony. I wanted to finish asap then, but now, i do wanna slow the process so that i cld enjoy. Perhaps, i reallly love Psych, otherwise i wun be having tis kind of thots. Tat itself is a consolation to me.

As i was finishing thru my essay online, saw my dear fren online. Hmm, it was a sort of mixed feeling. Had hung out wif her the nite bf.....was not a veri gd feel becos she was feeling down by her job. I dun like pple ard me to be unhappy, if i cld i wld always try to make them happy. but for this lady, i guess it was slightly diff perhaps we were really close. she was the closest beside family, so i wun want to see her unhappy. she was working today as well, i dunno wat to say. sometimes, i feel frens do drain me out....perhaps i give too much, and hence i began to have expectations, and expectations kill a frenship or relationship. so at times, i wld be detached fr the relationship in order to protect myself......becos i noe if my expectations were not met, i wld feel hurt, but at the same time i noe it was not rite to have expectations becos it killed a frenship.....sigh, it was really tough. The only thing i cld do was not to give too much my attention and maybe perhaps tat wld make me feel better......is a form of escapism i feel, but is a feeling i cld not battle over since young.....so one of the things i wanna do tis year is to stop having expectations.....i dun wanna get drained by feelings and emotions anymore :D

Was tinking thru work today........i suddenly rem wat my boss told me over the drinks.....(actually i cant really rem wat he said becos my head was spinning).....i tink he told me to pick up biz knowledge for it will become invaluable...not sure if i was dreaming or it was real....hahaha.....i been figuring out wat was real and wat was my intuition till now...becos i tink we were both drunk....if he meant wat he said when he was drunk, things wld be getting interesting in this year....if not, i still will have things to look forward to in the proj i m doing...well, i better learn not to have expectations lest i get disappointed again....

I tink the morale of the story for the first day of the year 2006, is not to have any expectations regardless in friends, work or anything. I will tell myself that, i will try to take things as they come and do not have any expectations for disappointments are hard to bear.........with that i will work hard, and anything good that came along will be a bonus......I will be happier that way.