Inspiration

What does it take to be an inspiration to others? For me, i m always on lookout for role models to inspire me. Actually, i tink i liked to be inspired and i like to inspire pple too. Unfortunately, nobody so far has come fwd me and tell me, "you know, you have really been an inspiration." Well, i guess is not an easy task to inspire pple. I always tot i cld inspire pple wif my +ve thoughts, my unlimited energy levels and my optimum level of positiveness, but i was sure i got smbody upset today....not tat it bothered me, but it worried me.

My ever whining fren (actually not sure if she really belonged to my category of fren) started whining abt her job and her health. Her health was suffering due to her job. Well, in my perspective ( i dunno if i m judging), i felt that she was always whining, nothing new. Thruout my years of knowing her, she was so used to tat. I remarked tat her mind was sick, to me changing the mind, changed the person. Alas, i tink she got so crossed wif that statement, saying tat i was not doing her job, if i were, i wun be saying the same thing. Wat i truly felt was, no matter wat, you still have a choice. That's the beauty of living in this world. My principle in life is not to restrict my choices, instead explore them. Clearly, this has gotten her rather upset that she cut off her conversation wif me. Not that it really bothered me tat she was mad at me, but somehow maybe i felt i was not empatheic enough...but on recollection, i guess i had been patient enough over the 11 years and it was the time to snap.....Truly, wanting to inspire pple was never easy.

Started an email chain wif Sunflower last week after a fulfilling Psych class. It all started wif her asking me if i intend to further my course. Then, i realise she was actually a student of the course i was doing. Hmm, it was an ans to my prayer, at least for now i noe somebody had done it before and gave such gd feedback abt it. The journey back home that day was a long one, i had so many tots gg thru my mind tat i felt an urge to drop her an email. I wld say it was an explosive urge, it was like i had so many questions waiting to be answered. Well, she did not disappoint me, at least i found some ans to my burning questions. And i tot tat was the first step to knowing my inspiration better. Thru the exchanges only did i realise she was actually a trained teacher and she actually went all out to achieve her dreams, and she really earned my admiration for tat. Compare to her, i felt so insignifcant. She gave up her job as a teacher of > 10 years to pursue her dreams, and i still cld not decide whether to go for it. Though she was not doing as well as she shld if she stick on to her teaching, but she gave me the feeling that she was truly happy. Perhaps happiness in her thoughts, was doing smthg she was passionate abt. From the way she taught the class, and the way she was willing to learn from her students and the ways she answered the queries i posed, her passion really touched me.

When i first started doing Psych, i had great dreams, i was counting down to my 7 years of earning my Psychologist licence and i was so sure i wld get it as long as i desired it. Along the way, i did become disillusioned, met some setbacks and questioning myself. But i tink her passion brought out the best in me, it made me truly enjoyed the last 3000 module which was supposed to be the toughest. I was really grateful to her for making me reconsidering my options. Is tough to see pple sticking to their dreams in technology age, and is even tougher to be an inspiration to others. She had done both at least in my context and i felt she was like an angel God sent telling me "I have sent somebody to show that you can do it" and in her words to me "as long as you desired, success is hugely yours". Till now, i m still at the cross road, perhaps after meeting up wif her after exams, i may have a clearer direction of where to go. Is kinda of sad that classes are ending soon and i have to admit, tis semester was one of the fulfilling sessions i have. Good things are always short, arent they?

I learnt something from Sunflower. Her desire, her will, and her passion are the ingredients to success. Though success cld be measured in many ways, and though the industry is pretty limited, as long as you have the passion to stick to wat you believed, no matter how small the corner is, you will still be able to satisfy yourself and be an inspiration to others. And truly, i have not felt so touched before for a long time.

Hopefully no matter what my decision was, i will be an inspiration to some and hopefully, someday, someone will come up to me and thank me for being an inspiration :)

Thank you lady, once again for touching that immune heart of mine wif ur pure passion.